I was in the weeds this week. All I could see was what seemed like hundreds of tasks that I needed to make progress on, and at some point it seemed like a good idea to use a machete and my full force to hack them all down. As you might expect, that wasn’t a good idea at all.
After flailing about, however, I did remind myself of several lessons which I have learned in my past, and about which I needed to again remind myself.
The first lesson is that even though I am often in the role of teaching the principles of management, I need to remember that the act of doing from the “Learn / Do / Teach” model is often how I learn. It is a virtuous cycle, and needs to be continuous. In addition, part of my learning often comes from my making mistakes, sometimes big ones. It is a loose paraphrase from Thomas Edison, but I do believe that I make mistakes so I can tell by contrast when I make the right decision.
The second lesson I had forgotten was to listen for the theme. I have various trusted advisors who I try to truly listento, even when I don’t share their perspective. Some of those advisors are my management, some of them are from my team, some are my peers including my wife, and all of them are my teachers. Each began saying things to me in their own words this week which I failed to stitch together as a theme. If I had just heard and listened to that theme, it would have told me I was on the wrong road. One said to me, “Did you mean to kill that fly with a brick?” Another wondered aloud with me if my team saw my actions as fighting for them, or just fighting to be a fighter. One of them suggested that I may have hurt the feelings of someone on the team by inadvertently suggesting they may have done something wrong, a message I never meant to convey. And one finally had to bluntly say to me, “That was a mistake!” as well as some less flattering, but no less incorrect descriptions.
How Did I Get Here?
There are a lot of reasons I ended up in the weeds this week, but two that were both entirely within my control to have changed.In part I simply let myself get exhausted. I had a few fifteen hour days this week, perhaps only one of which was trulynecessary. I ignored the symptoms of exhaustion, then spent even more long days working on items that seemed more critical than they actually were. I started getting sick, and then once again ignored the advice of my advisors to “Go home and rest.” One of them actually said to me, “We tell people to go home and take care of themselves when they are sick. Is thisyour idea of leading by example?” Hmm, do you hear the theme?
I also ignored one of the principles that I teach which is, “Know when to take your foot off the gas.” This week I found myself focused on small tactical issues rather than overall strategy. Some days and even weeks can be like that, and we need to be able to adjust the energy and focus we apply to any given task. When I am working on strategy and trying to motivate people I can be pretty high energy. When I am dealing with someone on a simple tactical task, hitting them with all of the energy that I use for strategy is like, “killing a fly with a brick” – or more than a little overkill. Task work at full force is also frustrating to me because I don’t see results as fast as that much energy should be producing, and it is totally exhausting for everyone involved. The advice I offer is that sometimes what is truly important is just coastinginto a turn, so you can hit the gas later on the straightaway. Ok, that racing analogy is worth briefly elaborating on, as it is part of the theme I missed. One of my trusted advisors let me play their Xbox racing game this week. It was my first time playing, and I found myself actually refusing to take my foot off the gas pedal (literally the gas pedal this time). As a result I repeatedly smashed myself into the wall. WOW, can I miss a theme or what?!
Apologize
This week in the weeds and smashing into the walls also reminded me of something equally important when you do make those inevitable mistakes, at that is to be the first to apologize. I take this lesson from Dr. Gordon Graham, a captain from the California Highway Patrol, who later in his career became an expert on managing risk, and ultimately a renowned risk management consultant who among other successes has changed dozens of CHP’s guiding policies. Gordon is a tall burly man, just the kind you want to be there to protect those in need and to ensure justice is done, even if by force. His top point of advice for individuals and companies trying to reduce and manage risk, “Teach people a willingness to apologize.” Yes really, that is his advice. Gordon noted that some may think you are weak for apologizing, but to ignore them. Risk will eventually weed those people out. The mistakes you make, but which can be corrected or at least mitigated by immediately recognizing and apologizing for your mistakes are WELL worth the scorn from the few folks who will never get it. I’ve written two apologies resulting from this week, with another one left to go. Some will I’m sure be less appreciated than others, but each will be my way of saying that I am committed to continuously learning while I do, and this was clearly a learning week.
Reminders to Myself
Rest before you exhaust yourself. Some things really can wait until tomorrow or next week. Ask for help if you can’t find the time to rest. Being tired makes it harder to find those opportunities.
Listen for the themes. Every time you hear someone say something and you think, “that was an odd thing to say to me,” stop for a minute or two and ponder why. Were there several comments like that? Can you find the theme? Is it time to ask a trusted advisor what they think of what was just said to you?
Some tasks are just simple tasks, and they don’t need your 100% passionate effort. I gave myself one hour to write and post this blog. If it is not done by then, I will be done with it for now. That’s OK.
Apologize. Do it immediately, don’t worry about being viewed as week, and don’t look back. The odds are with you that you did the right thing.
